100 Hilarious Scuba Diving Jokes to Lighten Your Dive
“Why don't scuba divers ever fall out of love? Because they know how to go deep and stay down!”
Yes, a 100 More Where That Came From!
See, humor underwater isn't just about cracking up fish (though there's plenty of that). It's a survival skill, a stress reliever, and the ultimate secret weapon to defuse tension like a deflated tire.
Now, I'm not saying you should burst into laughter during your diving safety stop, but a well-timed scuba joke can turn a good dive into a great one.
Ready for more? Here are 100 Scuba Diving Jokes for a Fin-Tastic Time Underwater! Elevate your dive game with a touch of comedy – discover the perfect scuba jokes to keep your dives light and entertaining.
Trust me; these are so good, even the grouper won't be able to keep a straight face!
99 Scuba Diving Jokes That Will Make Your Dive Buddies Groan
1. Why did the octopus want to be a comedian? Because he had eight-tickling material!
2. How do you organize a space party underwater? You planet!
3. Why did the scuba diver bring a pencil to the dive? In case he wanted to draw some eelustrations!
4. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A kingfish!
5. Why don't lobsters share? Because they are shellfish!
6. How do you make a squid laugh on Saturday? Tell it a joke on Octopunday!
7. What's a scuba diver's favorite game? Squid and seek!
8. Why are scuba divers so bad at relationships? They always need space!
9. What's a shark's favorite sci-fi movie? Jaws!
10. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
Here’s a little secret for you. The sea can be a mysterious and sometimes intimidating place. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the vastness and the unknown. That's where humor comes in as your trusty dive buddy. It keeps your spirits high, your mind focused, and your heart light.
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More Dive-Pun Goodness Coming Your Way!
11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
12. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a little shellfish!
13. What's a scuba diver's favorite instrument? The harpoon!
14. Why did the shrimp break up with the seahorse? He was too shellfish!
15. What do you call a fish magician? A magicarp!
16. How do you compliment a scuba diver? Tell them they're fintastic!
17. Why did the jellyfish go to school? To improve its tentacle abilities!
18. What's a shark's favorite snack? Fish and ships!
19. Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels!
20. How do you invite a fish to a party? Drop it a clam!
Now, if these jokes haven't hooked you yet, I don't know what will. But, wait, there's more!
Think about sharing these with your dive buddies on the boat or during the surface interval. It's the perfect way to bond, create memories, and leave everyone grinning like a catfish who just caught a big one.
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More Scuba Diver Jokes for Ya!
21. What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!
22. Why did the scuba diver bring a towel? To have a dry sense of humor!
23. What's a fish's favorite musical instrument? The tuna piano!
24. How does a fish end a conversation? It says, "Well, I better sea you later!"
25. Why did the eel break up with the conger? It was a slippery slope!
26. What's a scuba diver's favorite game show? Who Wants to Be a Krillionaire?
27. Why did the sea turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
28. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
29. Why do fish never do well in school? Because they're always swimming below sea level!
30. What's a mermaid's favorite type of math? Algae-bra!
31. Why don't fish ever play piano? Because you can't tuna fish!
A Few More Dive Puns for a Happy dive
Let's keep the laughter flowing like bubbles underwater!
32. I once asked a dolphin for advice on relationships. It just waved its fin and said, "Keep swimming, mate!"
33. Ever wonder why fish are so good at basketball? They always make a splash with their dribbles!
34. Why did the sea cucumber break up with the coral? It felt stuck and needed some space.
35. I told my pet sea urchin a joke, and it didn't react. Turns out, it has a very "pointed" sense of humor.
36. What's a scuba diver's favorite dance move? The "Fin-tastic Two-Step."
37. I tried to make a fish laugh, but it told me my jokes were too "reel."
38. How do you organize an underwater party? You have to plan it "shell by shell."
39. What did the ocean say to the scuba diver? "You've got a lot of depth, buddy!"
40. I asked a crab to borrow some money, but it just handed me a shell. Turns out, it was a loan shark!
41. Why did the clam blush? It saw the ocean's bottom!
42. My friend got a job as a marine biologist, and now he's hooked on the seaweed.
43. What do you call a fish with a degree in philosophy? A deep-thinker.
44. Why did the scuba diver enroll in a breathing exercise class? Because they wanted to fin-ish their dives with a breath-taking performance!
45. Why don't fish play piano in school? Because you can't tuna fish, but you can tuna piano!
46. I started a band with sea creatures, but it never took off. We couldn't find a good drummer – they all seemed a bit "shell-shocked."
47. Why did the sea turtle bring a suitcase to the dive? It wanted to have a "shellebration" of its travels.
48. My lobster friend is a great storyteller, but he always leaves me a little "clawstrophobic."
49. What's a scuba diver's favorite TV show? "The Big Blue Theory."
50. I told a shark a joke, and it laughed so hard it snorted bubbles. Now that's a "jaws-dropping" reaction!
51. What did the ocean say to the island? "Stop making waves!"
52. Why don't fish ever get lost? Because they always follow the "reef" signs.
53. I asked the ocean for advice, and it whispered, "Just go with the flow, my friend."
54. How do you organize a fantastic underwater party? You "sea-llect" the best friends and let the laughter flow like a current!
55. I met a fish who could play guitar. It had the scales and the strings!
56. What's a shark's favorite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
57. I tried to tell a fish a joke, but it said, "I've heard it krill-ions of times."
58. My fish told me a joke, but I didn't get it. It was a little too "fin-tellectual."
59. Why did the scuba diver bring their dive certification card to the party? Because they heard it was the only way to make a splash without getting into deep water with the bouncer!.
60. I asked the squid why it always seemed so happy. It replied, "Inking positively is my tenta-goal!"
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Let’s add some longer, funnier, Diving Puns
61. My dentist told me I need to take deep breaths, so I booked a diving trip. Now I spend my vacation inhaling through a regulator instead of a nitrous oxide mask. Progress? Maybe not, but definitely more bubbles!
62. A young clownfish nervously asks his dad, "What happens if I get lost in the reef?" His dad replies, "Don't worry, just keep swimming 'til you fin-d Nemo!"
Speaking of age, make sure you’re up to the right age for scuba diving before you even consider using these jokes!
63. My dive buddy's new BCD has pockets with built-in speakers. Now he blasts underwater rave music, turning the reef into a silent disco where the fish just stare at us in judgment.
64. I used to love scuba diving with my best friend, until he started hoarding all the seashells like a hermit crab on steroids. Now he's living in a coral mansion and charging rent – in fish teeth!
65. The parrotfish at the dive bar kept heckling everyone, until a grumpy eel slithered by and hissed, "Quit your fin-flapping, or I'll give you a taste of my electric personality!"
66. Trying to impress a date on a dive? Forget fancy restaurants, take them to a shipwreck filled with rusty treasure chests. Just hope you don't get chased by a possessive octopus guarding a pearl necklace.
67. The ultimate dive buddy competition: whoever spends the least amount of time adjusting their mask wins. Bonus points for using it as a makeshift mirror to fix their underwater hair – because what's a mermaid without perfect seaweed curls?
68. Scuba diving tip: If you encounter a curious shark, offer it a selfie. They love showing off their pearly whites, especially for social media. Just don't ask them to smile – some things are better left natural.
69. Warning: Telling underwater ghost stories can backfire. My buddy recounted a spooky shipwreck tale, and now every creak in the ship sounds like a vengeful pirate, and every shadow hides a ghostly sea monster. Thanks, buddy!
70. I overheard two anemones gossiping about the coral reef fashion choices. Apparently, neon sponges are out, and everyone's rocking the bioluminescent algae glow-up. Nature really has its own trends, doesn't it?
Just a quick reminder that these jokes are ideal for all types of dives, not just scuba diving. So if you’re going snorkeling with a buddy, feel free to crack em up with some of these hilarious jokes.
More dive jokes coming…
We’re not done. 5 More Rounds of Hilarious Scuba Puns
Round 1: Pun-tastic Pranks
What do you call a lost scuba diver? A-drift!
How do you know a shark is telling a joke? He uses fin puns!
Why did the octopus cross the ocean floor? To get to the other shellfish!
What's a coral reef's favorite movie? Finding Nemo!
What do you call a grouchy clam? Shell-shocked!
Round 2: Shark Bait (of Laughter)
Why did the shark eat the clownfish? He thought it was a tasty joke!
What did the nervous diver say to the whale shark? "Please don't eat me, I'm just passing fin time!"
What's the difference between a dentist and a great white? A dentist will ask before taking a bite out of you!
Why do scuba divers argue about whether Zanzibar or Pemba Island has the better dive sites? Because it's the age-old debate of "Zanzi-bars" or "Pemba paradise" – where every dive is a tropical showdown of coral reefs and marine wonders!
What do you call a diver who forgets their oxygen? A goner! (Just kidding, stay safe, folks!)
Round 3: Deep Thoughts (and Shallow Jokes)
What did the wise fish say to the young clownfish? "There's a whole ocean of fun out there, don't just hang around anemones!"
How do you know you're a true scuba diver? You can tell stories about the ocean that sound fishy, but are actually true!
What's the most important thing to remember when diving? Don't panic, it's all relative-ly chill down here.
What's the scariest thing you can see on a dive? Your air gauge hitting empty at 100 feet!
What's the best thing about diving? It's the only time you can hang out with turtles and not get lectured about plastic straws.
Round 4: Surface Tension Breakers
Why did the scuba instructor break up with his girlfriend? She kept hogging all the air.
What do you call a scuba diver who loves taking selfies? Mr. Fin-tastic!
Why did the seagull land on the diver's head? He thought it was a new type of coral!
What's the best way to deal with a jellyfish sting? Talk to it about its day, it might apologize!
What's the worst thing about a dive boat full of divers? The endless singing of "Under the Sea"!
Round 5: The Gill-arious Finale!
21. Why did the two anemones break up? They kept getting tangled in each other's tentacles!
22. What did the squid say to the octopus when he offered him a lift? "Thanks, but I'm eight-limbed for myself!"
23. What's the difference between a scuba diver and a politician? One tells tall tales from the bottom of the ocean, the other... well, you get the picture.
24. What's the best way to attract fish on a dive? Whistle loudly for them – but just make sure it's not the Titanic theme song!
25. Why did the scuba instructor get in trouble for teaching with a pirate accent? He kept saying, "Ahoy mates, the treasure lies beyond this coral wall!"
Bonus Round: Scuba-Dooby-Doo: Mystery Jokes!
26. Who stole the diver's fins? It was a sole-ful crime!
27. What did the detective find at the bottom of the ocean? A sunken safe. Inside? Only fish puns… thousands of them!
28. Why did the manatee get arrested? He was illegally parking his sea-cow in a coral zone!
29. What do you call a diver who can't tell a stingray from a pancake? A flat-out mess!
30. What did the lost diver say to the passing submarine? "Do you have Wi-Fi? I need to find a nemo!"
See you on the other side, divers!
Captain Crusty, signing off (and possibly choking on my own laughter).
P.S. Did you hear about the octopus who lost his eight coins? He was feeling a little shellfish!
Happy diving, and may your bubbles be endless!
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